


Switch The Roles Of Phan

by Destiel_is_OTP



Category: Phandom
Genre: Anxiety, But no, Confused Dan, Existential Crisis, Facepalm Dan, Female!Dan, Female!Phil, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I suck at writing, Original Female Characters - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Sofa crease (I don't know why I felt this had to be a tag), i never said i knew how to tag, if you were than I am really sorry, jk it took me two weeks, lalalala, this is really stupid, this took me like two hours, were you expecting anything more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_is_OTP/pseuds/Destiel_is_OTP
Summary: In a small room in Philadelphia, U.S., two girls stand among a pile of merchandise. In London, England, two men roam around an electronic filled flat. Neither pair had defining talents, but each one was almost exactly alike. Introverts, lonely and absorbed into the world of virtual reality, never thought that they would change their ways. Until one mistake turned the tables and sent the world spinning off its axis. One misstep that sent four socially inept nerds into a haze of alternate reality. At first, on one end, a dream has blossomed into real life. On the other end, stress flows, a daily routine turning into a panicked whirlwind. Confusion reigns, and in a matter of time everything has dissolved into chaos. The only hope is to fix this horrific mistake and return to their normal lives. But not before learning-- and finding out that being famous and creative and funny isn't all that carefree. And that some of us have reasons why we turned to the sweet release of fictional universes and other people's lives...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why do ideas always come while you're in the shower? This confuses me. Anyway, I was in the shower thinking about Phan and fanfiction and how I love writing and suddenly, this idea popped into my head. The name that I thought of was something like Switch a Tube, which might still be the name of the document. I started to write the next day, and by the end of the week it was like ten pages. Which might be concerning, I don't really know. Or care. I decided to post it to Archive of Our Own, and here you are reading it now! I hope you enjoy my incessant ramblings!

Fangirls

Kylie surveyed her room in her new house, making sure everything was perfect for the first time her best friend came over. She looked at her deluxe Dan and Phil poster, her llama hat, her wall of Dan memes, and her pixel people backpack in the corner. Kylie sighed, then randomly dissolved into giggles. She wished Vanessa was here already. Then they could read the TABINOF for the fiftieth time and fangirl about how funny Dan and Phil’s hair looked in 2011. Ever since The Amazing Book is Not on Fire came out, she and Vanessa had been texting, calling, and going to Vanessa’s house for short stretches of time while the whole moving process blew over. 

Vanessa had been constantly facetiming and jokingly reminding Kylie to worship the TABINOF before she went to bed. Though Kylie tried to be upbeat, things had been a bit… tense since everything had happened. Her mother barely talked, and even if she had, it would mostly just be to criticize how much she liked “Those two idiots on the internet whom she didn’t even know and who were both horrible influences and how a daughter should help her parents and that she was a disgrace.” or something like that. As for her dad, he was too angry to help them or ease them into the situation. He didn’t get Dan and Phil either. Almost nobody in her life did.

Except Vanessa. Ever since fourth grade, when she had come in as the confused new kid with auburn hair, a camp half blood shirt, and a book by Cassandra Clare, Kylie was sure of her. Six years later, their friendship was still intact. They had held each other as they cried, threw pillows at each other when they laughed, and poked each other in the middle of physics when they were bored.

They had helped each other through their tragedies and introduced each other to other subjects, all while dutifully keeping up with each video, social media post, and new website or piece of merch from the illustrious Dan Howell and Phil Lester. Through existential crises, lion and dinosaur onesies, and likenesses of Dan and Phil in the Sims four, they experienced the wonderful joys of Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil’s journey through life. Dan and Phil only came second to one thing, however.

Books.

On the other side of Kylie’s room was her “Wall of books”--three bookshelves crammed with every book available on the shelves by authors such as Rick Riordan, Cassandra Clare, Rainbow Rowell, Suzanne Collins, and lots and lots of others. Kylie absorbed herself into the books, crying when characters died, sitting on the floor curled in a ball cursing the page organization when her eyes accidentally darted down to the bottom of the page and figured out a plot twist prematurely, laughing when a character said something funny or just plain strange, and squealing loudly when something was particularly fluffy or cute. In fact, Kylie couldn’t imagine anyone reading in a different way. Almost as much as she couldn’t imagine living without Vanessa.

Sometimes Kylie couldn’t think about Vanessa without laughing until she cried or crying until she finally just laughed. They had so many memories together, like the time a popular girl called Kylie a whore a couple months ago and Vanessa punched her heavily powdered face. Or the time in sixth grade when Vanessa got pushed into a locker by some rowdy boys upon which time Kylie showed up and spouted an angry gush of words, most off the top of her head or quotes from a book character or celebrity. 

There were also just genuinely funny times, like when they were in fifth grade and got free chocolate cake in the cafeteria for the fiftieth anniversary of the school. When Kylie had finished her cake, she stood up on the table, frosting smeared around her mouth, and loudly proclaimed; “LET THE FIFTIETH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!” Which of course had caused a chain reaction of random nerds shouting quotes from Catching Fire and the rest of the series and throwing cake.

Those were good times.

But now was the time to hug and squeal and forget everything else that was happening in their lives. No disappointed mother, no forgetful and raging father, just a best friend and a mountain of magical merchandise. 

Kylie flicked her poster, trying to get the blue tack to stick better. Three more minutes. She and Vanessa usually organized events to happen at very specific times, such as this hangout, timed specifically for two fifty three. That gave them enough time to have at least seven minutes extra as adults like to time things on the hour.

Dis-Dong! The doorbell rang. Kylie sighed as she went to answer the door, the horrible echo of their broken doorbell ringing in her ears. She opened the door to find a very bouncy Vanessa delivered right at her door. “Vanessa!” her best friend hugged her, propelling Kylie into the hallway a few feet. “Up to the fortress of darkness!” Vanessa laughed. 

Once they had flopped onto the bed and started alternating between saying strange phrases and panting because they spent every day on the internet and reading instead of doing stuff that would keep them healthy. Like exercising. Or sleeping. Regardless of the new space, Vanessa was armed to the teeth with merchandise. A llama hat, cat whiskers, one of Dan’s signature shirts, black jeans, exclusive Dan and Phil socks and shoes, and the TABINOF in one hand. 

Vanessa stood up and looked around. “This is so cool! You have all the merchandise! The duvet cover, the clothes, the posters, the book, the accessories! And everything is organized!” Vanessa fawned over the small room. She spun in a circle. “You can bet it won’t stay that way for long.” Kylie said from the bed. Vanessa dropped to the floor and started making a snow angel motion. Kylie raised her eyebrow before falling next to her, nearly on top of her. They then both popped up and started to page through the TABINOF, quoting parts from memory and face palming at the weirdest parts while also relating it to their own lives.

“I wonder what it would be like to be Dan or Phil…” Kylie wondered aloud. Vanessa put her head on her chin while they pondered the subject. 

“You would have to be creative.”

“And naturally funny.”

“And able to handle excessive amounts of creepy fanfiction.”

That did it. They both exploded into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. Kylie even fell of the bed. They both knew that they might not even ever meet Dan and Phil, much less be them. 

They never did expect what would really happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun! That's basically this entire chapter. This chapter is basically just an explanation, and both sections are very short, so I just put them into one chapter. Yay. I feel like I wrote the word chapter too many times. Whatever.

Youtubers

“Phil?” said Dan, unceremoniously folding his spine into the famed leather sofa that he had shown in so very many of his videos. He wondered briefly what it might be like to be a fangirl who would probably kill to sit on this couch and why they made so many horrifying things on tumblr. “Yes?” His friend responded while lying on his blue and green duvet. “Will you take a picture of the giant one direction poster for me?” 

Dan heard Phil shuffle down the hall. “Um… Why?” Dan slouched impossibly more. “Because I’m on tumblr in my browsing position and I want to tweet it!” Phil was poking his head through the door now. “Wow. Okay. You realize you can’t tweet on tumblr, right?” Dan rolled his eyes at his best friend. “The few seconds that you are saving for me by taking this picture will allow me to maintain a whole nother social media tab in my browser! Duh.” Phil sighed, then reluctantly set off toward their small bathroom to take a photograph of Niall’s face.

“Lazy Dan. Making me take a picture of Harry Styles for him… I should make him do a day in the life so he’ll have to get up.” Phil mumbled to himself as he tromped down the hallway. Unfortunately, this being the house of Dan Howell and Phil Lester, there was an unnatural amount of tangled chargers on the floor.

One of them was right on the floor in front of Phil. This particular charger, however, was plugged into an unusual power source. From a place previously marked slightly radioactive. A mechanic warned that if people were to continue using it, that something strange and dangerous would happen. Something maybe even unfixable. But of course nobody listened to him. 

When Phil tripped over the wire, it jostled something in the wall. That jostling caused something else to fall out of order. It caused a chain reaction, kind of like dominos, much unlike a normal wall and outlet should function. Most of the energy that had been released through the slight break was released in unrelenting tendrils toward Phil and any other electronic near it, such as Phil’s phone he was holding, or Dan’s laptop.

A trickle of that almost nuclear power, however, escaped through the building and into another place. Through the city, the country, and finally across the continent. 

Over an ocean, slithering toward another victim. Into the house of two kids. Two girls, in fact. Girls who were attempting to plug in a laptop cord. Girls who had no idea what was about to happen.

Vanessa Swansen and Kylie Johnson would remember this day for the rest of their lives.

Fangirls

After they had watched a sufficient amount of YouTube videos and read the TABINOF once again, it was time for Vanessa to leave. Everything had seemed almost normal, for once, a sharp contrast to the rest of Kylie’s life. Except for one thing, which Kylie was sure was just a fluke, something like when you get a shock because you touched the metal of the cord while very close to the wall. When she had plugged in the cord with Vanessa beside her, she felt a strange tingle go down her spine, followed by a mild shock in her finger and up her arm. Probably just a horribly broken electric thing, like everything else in this house, she had thought at the time.

But it was so much more. 

Kylie was tossing and turning under her Dan and Phil customized duvet cover. Her head felt strange, sort of a lightheaded feeling, but also like an itch in the back of her mind. Maybe it was just the weariness of moving and everything that was happening behind these enclosed walls that was scratching in the back of her mind, slowly eating her from within.

No. Kylie couldn’t think about that. Dan. Phil. Lions. Dinosaurs. Cringe attacks. Existential crises. Nothing that would make her feel nauseous inside. Nothing that would make her tear up, make her drown selfishly in her own sorrows.

Once again, Kylie wished that she could be Dan and Phil. Carefree, known by so many people. Spending all day playing on the internet and making spectacularly hilarious videos… It would be paradise. It would be easy and carefree.

Sadly, she couldn’t be more wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah! Finally getting to the action! This is probably the longest chapter, which isn't very long actually. I hope that you like it! You specifically, obviously. I'm so unnecessarily obvious at the wrong times. Hope you enjoy!

YouTubers 

Dan opened his eyes, his vision hazy. So was, he quickly realized, his memory. The last thing he remembered was scrolling on tumblr and hearing Phil trip on something. Then he remembered standing up. Maybe he had hit his head on something. Knowing his luck combined with his terrible coordination, he was either dead or in the hospital.

Once his eyes had focused, he was staring up at a white ceiling, a faint beeping noise in the background. Probably a hospital. Except he didn't think hospitals usually had posters on the walls. As he sat up and turned around to get a better look at the wall accessory, the beeping got distinctly louder and more unlike a life support machine.   
Dan shut his eyes as tight as he could, willing the sound to go away and also trying to place it. After a minute, it dawned on him. It was an alarm clock. A standard one that most parents would buy their middle or high school kids. But Dan didn't even own one of these things, and even if he did, it would have woken him up for something more important, like a tour to Australia, or a new season of Sherlock. Finally Dan stomped over to the unruly thing and shut it off. But when he turned around to go back, he stumbled at the sight of his surroundings.

The blanket he had been sleeping under was a duvet of him and Phil. In the top left corner of the room, there was practically a shrine to the book that he had written with Phil, The Amazing Book is Not on Fire. And the cherry to top it all. In one side of the room, next to a full length poster for The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire, there was a four foot by five foot square completely engulfed by memes of himself. 

Dan was overwhelmed. Had some insane fan girl drugged and kidnapped him? He felt his body, making sure nobody had stolen his kidneys. But he realized that he felt different. Small. Sort of… feminine? Dan ran to look in the nearest bathroom mirror, and almost fainted at what he saw.

He was a girl. And not only that, a girl with a llama hat, phan pajamas, and cat whiskers. Had someone done some weird voodoo trick to switch bodies with him? And if that was the case, was Phil in another body too, ultimately confused about his current situation?

Unfortunately, he got no more time to dwell on the subject, as a woman calling from at least another floor down that if he--she?--didn't get downstairs in five minutes that the full length poster was going in the trash. Not wanting to be the cause of whoever lived in this room to be sad, he picked out some clothes at random and pulled them on before running downstairs, where he was met by a strict and frustrated woman, probably the mother of whoever this body belonged to. Fortunately, there wasn't much talking as Dan packed what he thought would go in the girl’s backpack and set off for school, except for some mumbling from the woman about being sensible in public and that a child shouldn't be watching those stupid people on the internet. Dan tried hard not to be offended.

Sadly, Dan soon realized that he had no idea where he was going and ended up randomly asking directions to the nearest high school and hoping it was the right one as he practically sprinted in the direction that he had been pointed into, not wanting to be late.  
He was not prepared for what he saw when he arrived, however. The school was huge, towering over his short frame, and all types of kids were traipsing in and out. Nerds, jocks, popular girls and boys, immature weirdos. 

There seemed to be another girl waiting at the door for him. Or what she thought was her friend. Dan realized with a muffled laugh that even though this girl was auburn, she had the exact same hair (and fringe) that he had. Probably a companion of the Dan and Phil fangirl body he was currently inhabiting, then. Dan started to panic. He didn't know any of his classes, anybody's names… he hardly even knew his own name for Christ’s sake!

Dan walked toward the person with the fringe, who waved at him. Oh god… She’s probably my friend… I don’t even know her name… I hope nobody thinks that they are drug dealing rappers at this school. No sooner had he finished that thought, however, the girl started talking. “I can’t believe that you actually wore the whiskers! That’s amazing. I forgot mine. You’re room is so cool.” She continued talking for a bit. Dan faked a laugh followed by a smile. Though the girl had been talking steadily, Dan observed that her hands were fidgeting at her sides like she wanted to bite them. Huh. Kind of like Phil had done before they met one direction.

Dan and the girl started walking inside. “Which is your favorite, Dan or Phil?” Dan’s heart skipped a beat. He knew it was coming, them being Phangirls, but he didn’t know what to say. Well, not to be narcissistic, but I am Dan, so if Dan wasn’t here I wouldn’t exist, but I am Dan, but what if I don’t exist… Dan sighed. The girl looked over at him. “What?” Dan shrugged her off. “Oh, just had an existential crisis.” Dan prayed a collective prayer to every source he could think of that the girl would get the reference. His prayers were answered. The girl broke out in a grin. “The vastness of the universe, the questions about why we exist, always a good conversation starter.”

Dan sighed inwardly, glad that things were going well so far. The girl skipped ahead. “I'm coming to your house again after school, right?” Dan just stared at her. “Oh… um… yeah.” The girl’s grin grew impossibly wider. Dan hoped she would guide him through the day.

Dan learned her name in roll call. Vanessa Swansen. He almost got in trouble when he didn't say anything when the teacher called his name. Dan didn't like being small. It was weird. He flailed through gym, did pretty well during English and math, and was strangely proud of himself when he didn't explode anything in science.

Though there were some mishaps in particular classes, and some popular girls who shouted some insults and obscenities, the day went relatively well. As he and the girl--Vanessa--walked home, she decided to quiz Dan on himself and Phil. Of course, he aced every one, him actually being Dan and all.

He still felt weird being in a girl's body, though. Goddammit, he missed being taller than everyone, even though it meant that he had to naruto run down most flights of stairs. They did their homework together, and then Vanessa stayed for a few hours. They looked in the TABINOF, which Dan found kind of hilarious as he remembered writing most of it. Vanessa looked at him weirdly a couple times, as if she suspected who he really was.

At seven o'clock, Vanessa grabbed her stuff and started getting ready to leave. When she was in the doorway, about to leave, she suddenly spun around and got a crumpled piece of paper out of her coat pocket. Vanessa shoved it in his hand before hugging his small, girlish body, giving him a hurried goodbye, and shutting the door.  
Dan stood there for a few moments after Vanessa disappeared before opening the note.

Dear Dan,

Dan’s heart started beating faster. Did she know who he was? Would she help him? Nevertheless, he continued reading the letter.

Though it’s been kinda fun being in a fangirls body, would you mind devoting some thought to getting us out of here? I’ve been trying to act normal. You’re failing miserably at that. Anyway, if you’re wondering how I knew it was you, there were a couple big signs. Just keep in mind, you always had a habit of saying “Literally” without the “e” in the middle.

Phil.

Dan stared at it. He didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. He decided on the latter. It started out as a chuckle, gradually growing louder and more manic as he realized Phil’s cleverness. In a few minutes, he was full on cackling. Eventually it died down and he went upstairs. He was about to fall asleep when he realized that he couldn’t.

Phil had asked him to brainstorm about ways to switch back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dan is so socially inept. Leave a review saying if you thought that Phil should have been more clueless or not. I already have another chapter planned out for the fangirl's perspective, which will be from Vanessa's point of view, but I don't have anything really done for the next Phil or Dan one. So if anybody has any suggestions, that would be nice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fangirl perspective. Yay! I'm such a massive nerd. I know that's irrelevant, but so are you. Probably. I hope I didn't offend anybody. NERDOM! Anyway. Get on with the reading of my amazing story and stuff.

Fangirls

Vanessa’s eyes snapped open, and she grunted at the prospect of having to get out of the warm cocoon of early morning blankets. 

She stared up at her ceiling, before realizing a pretty crucial fact. This room was painted white. Vanessa started to panic. This wasn’t her room! Where was she? Vanessa noticed that the blanket that she was wrapped in didn’t feel like hers. She stumbled out of the unfamiliar bed and into the bathroom without even looking at her surroundings. 

Vanessa gasped as she saw the appendages staring back at her.

Her eyes were no longer brown. Instead, they were an icy blue. Her hair was cropped short and jet black. But the strangest thing by far was that she knew the person in the mirror. She had seen him online, in a book, and even in her very own bedroom. 

The person who she appeared to be was none other than Phil Lester.

Slowly, Vanessa walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom. Sure enough, a green and blue patchworked duvet lay before her. Vanessa wasn’t sure if she wanted to wake up or not. She decided she wanted to wake up. If only she knew how to.

Because she couldn’t get out of this fantasy, Vanessa decided that she would make the most of this, though strange, fantastic dream. She started to walk. Vanessa almost tripped on her own feet. She wasn’t used to being so tall. She opened doors down the hall, vaguely familiar from house tours that Dan had done. Vanessa opened a door into a world that she knew all too well. The kitchen.

By this time, Vanessa was getting worried. Was she in some kind of coma? Her dreams were never this detailed or vivid… And Vanessa was pretty sure that she didn’t usually dream in full color.

A smile crept on her face. If this dream was as real as it seemed… 

Then maybe Dan would be awake. 

Vanessa walked slowly, taking in the sights to see around her. She really was confused. About why this dream seemed so real. About how she knew what was in their house so well or why her mind was able to simulate it so well. The breakfast bar that had practically never been used, the drawers and cabinets that Phil always left open every time he went to get some milk, the fridge that Dan had tried to fit into in one of the Truth or Dare videos, Dan’s cereal that Phil always eats… Speaking of Dan. They had arrived at his fortress of darkness.

Vanessa flung open the door to Dan’s room.

To find him staring straight at Vanessa, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish’s might. A thought struck Vanessa. If this was her dream, and she was Phil, would Dan be Dan? Maybe Dan would be someone else too. Maybe even someone she knew... 

Without truly thinking, Vanessa stepped forward, leaned into Dan, and said; 

“Kylie, am I dreaming?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil is going to explain to Dan how he was normal. It's actually relatively easy considering Phil is just a little ball of fluff that is happy and cute all the time.

Youtubers

Dan sat down on the foreign bed he had been reluctantly sleeping in for the last four days. He had gotten used to his height, to an extent, but it was still awkward being in a teenage girl’s body. He tapped the bed to an obscure song playing in his head. Dan was waiting for his friend. His only friend.

The friend who was now in the body of a girl named Vanessa with an auburn fringe. Dan snickered as he remembered the sight of it. Though he had seen Phil in the hallways and in particular classes, he was too overwhelmed with all of the faces and names and information and subjects to really have a conversation.

Fortunately, Dan was about to have a big talk with Phil. Mostly targeted toward the subject of “How the HELL did he know what to do when this all began?!”.

Speaking of before, this life had quickly morphed from confusion to hell. Not only was Dan almost clueless to everybody’s names and recognized almost nobody even after awkwardly asking the student or teacher again every day, he also had no idea what material he was supposed to be learning, what his daily routine was supposed to be, hardly any of his classes, and most importantly, what clique everybody was in. Well, except for himself. He was most definitely a nerd, even when sticking to the information and characteristics of the girl that had used to be in this body. And this was after four days!

The popular kids were worse than they had ever been for him, and that was saying a lot. He couldn’t yet tell whether it was this particular school, this entire generation as a whole, or something completely different. One thing that was almost the same in its entirety, however, was the fact that the teachers really didn’t seem at all inclined to stop it.  
The doorbell rang, jolting Dan out of his stupor and traumatic memories. Dan jumped up and bounded down the one creaky flight of stairs in the household.

Phil had arrived.

Dan and Phil sat on the bed. It was one of those awkward times when both parties prepared lots of questions or things to say, but when the time actually came nobody had anything.

Finally, Dan spoke up. “So. Are you going to explain or what? My bedtime is nine o’clock, apparently.” Phil put his head in his hands. “I seem like a goody goody, sort of like me actually, so I don’t think I can even stay up that late.” Dan stifled a laugh. A couple more moments of tension passed, before Dan’s arms spasmed like a scared octopus. “Oh, jesus christ! Are you going to tell me your secret?” Phil sighed.

“Yeah, okay. When I first tripped on the laptop cord, I remember falling down and then feeling like I was suspended over a giant vat of cheese.” Dan raised his eyebrows. “Well, like sort of nauseated and scared and weirded out! Anyway, as you know, I am prepared for the weirdest situations and am an expert on being suctioned toward weird strangers and situations, so this was just like a more extreme and impossible variation. So I figured I had probably been kidnapped by some crazy phangirl and all I had to do was like do some weird stuff and then I could call the police. But then, of course, I saw myself in the mirror.” Dan sighed.

“OH MY GOD. I started having a major freakout, which I have no explanation for as I probably should have reasoned at first that it was a dream, especially with my history of delirious sleep trauma. For some strange, satanic reason, it was also five a.m., so I had a fun time having a panic attack for about an hour until I decided that I should probably just roll with it. Because who better to be trapped in the body of than a crazed phangirl!

“I then start figuring out what to do. Since I had, of course, met a few phangirls, I know how they acted. I also picked up a bit from the framed picture on the wall that was a picture of me and some other girl that turned out to be you, that said ‘Kylie and Vanessa, cheerful and annoying as always. 2012--forever.’ Quite a big hint right there about who I was and at least one person’s name. By this time it was much later, and I figured that I must have to go to school or something, judging by how old I looked. I think my mother must’ve been a bit friendlier than yours, because I learned a few things like the route and a bit about my schedule from talking to her. After that I just applied my theory that this was just a weird dream and did my best to be normal and happy. Which is sort of like me, whereas you literally have a soul of black treacle.”

Dan spontaneously burst out laughing. “That wasn’t the exact reaction I was expecting…“ Dan turned back to Phil. “That’s not the most complex or helpful strategy. Actually, that was not even remotely helpful. Never mind. Wait. Are you sure there was nothing else involved?” Phil shook his head. “No. Wait-- hold on, my phone’s ringing.” Phil turned away momentarily. “What Okay. Yeah, fine. Yes. Okay. No, that’s good. Okay. Bye.” Click.

He turned back to Dan. “I have to go. Bye. Sorry.” Dan flopped on the bed. “Bye, Phil.” Phil closed the door, and Dan could hear him hurrying down the one flight of stairs in the house. Then Dan sat up.

He had forgotten to ask Phil how exactly he had recognized him.

Well, whatever. He could do that some other time. It didn’t really matter. As Dan tucked in for the night, strange because he wasn’t himself, literally, and also relatively normal from his school days, he thought about what Phil was doing. The real Phil. If someone else was in his body. If they had to interact with Dan’s body… Or if they were just emotionless husks. They could have been pronounced dead. Or comatose. Millions of phangirls could be crying. Or maybe even worse… Dan shuddered. 

Time to stop thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHAHAHA That was random. Anyway, the next chapter might have a special twist for Dan and Phil...


	6. Chapter 6

Fangirls

Left surprised and confused, Kylie did the only thing she could do. She burst out laughing. Given she had just been asked a strange question it wasn’t the best thing to do, but Kylie was sort of known for her strange and opposite reactions to certain things.

After that bout of insanity had passed, Kylie looked up at Vanessa, who was more confused than ever. “No, Vanessa. I don’t think you’re dreaming.” Vanessa’s expression suddenly turned serious. Or as serious as Phil’s face could get. “I think we somehow morphed into Dan and Phil’s bodies. Or we’re dreaming. But if I’m correct, then logic just goes out the window. I think I’m processing this too fast. I’m just going to take a deep breath. Do you want to come sit with me?” 

Vanessa nodded, and they both walked over to sit down next to each other. Vanessa spoke up again first. “Okay. Let’s try assessing the situation. This isn’t the worst voodoo magic switcheroo scenario that could have happened. It’s actually quite good. So, we’re stuck in Dan and Phil bodies, with no knowledge of how to be an adult and close to no experience on how to be a youtuber. You have to admit, given how many dystopian novels we’ve both read, this isn’t entirely surprising.”

Kylie grinned, having paid no attention to anything her BFFL had just said. “I don’t like thinking about things logically. Let’s explore.” Kylie ran out of the room before Vanessa could say a single syllable in response.

Then she came back and pulled Vanessa out too.

They ran down the hallway, Kylie cutting off the circulation in her best friend’s arm. Finally, at the end of the hallway, Kylie gasped and let go. She ran forward and jumped on the sofa. 

It creased. Kylie got into a more comfortable position and frowned. “This is more underwhelming that I thought.” Vanessa laughed. “He never said it was that comfortable.” Kylie slid down into a deeper browsing position. “But I assumed…” Vanessa laughed again and jumped down next to her. “Wow. This really is not as good as I thought.” Kylie turned her head. “You dare doubt me?”

Vanessa stood up abruptly. “I’m gonna go eat your cereal!” Kylie bolted. “Oh no you will not you spoon!” She chased Vanessa out of the room. “SHREDDIES! THEY’RE MY FAVORITE WHEAT BASED CEREAL! SO YUMMY! SHREDDIES! I EAT THEM WHEN DAN IS NOT LOOKING! SO STEALTHY! SHREDDIES!” Vanessa, now in the kitchen, held up the box. “I just made the ultimate remix.”

Kylie grunted and tackled her. Vanessa shrieked and jumped away. The cereal spilled out of the box onto the floor, partly breaking into dust. They both looked down. Well, might as well mess something else too. 

Vanessa ran back out into the living room and jumped onto the couch. It was very squishy. Her feet sunk into the worn, extremely creased couch and she almost tripped over her own feet. Kylie pushed her down and sat next to her, at which point Vanessa sat up and kissed her on the cheek.

“I wish Dan and Phil could be as cute a couple as we are.”


End file.
